Absent

Where did you go

missing you

I would wait a lifetime

just to see your face again

to see your smile

the emotions behind the eyes

hear your voice

let you say your words to me

and listen

Cheese Glorious Cheese… & Fries

Confession time. Not last night, but the night before I ate this chicken burger. It was called a ‘tower burger’ and consisted of chicken, hash brown, cheese, lettuce and tomatoe and onion, some BBQ sauce and two lovely buns – not the sesame buns, some variety of gourmet/posh buns. Anyway, I hadn’t slept and I needed to eat so I ordered. It came with really tasty crispy fries with peri peri powder, brilliant taste. I am supposed to be a vegan but since I hadn’t slept I felt like I should divulge myself. Anyway it was lovely and I considered it a treat. Was it filling? Yes it was. Did it taste nice? Hell yes. How did I feel after? I have no idea as half hour after eating I blacked out for 12 hours on the sofa, apparently You Only Live Twice {James Bond} had played on tv and at some point turned itself off, as the day after it said ‘watch again.’ Well I slept right through that.

The picture above is from the site I ordered from. They forget my drink even though I ordered a meal which included one. Not the end of the world, great takeaway. I feel slightly guilty though for giving in to the meaty temptation. I suffered bad heartburn and a ‘junk food hangover’ the next day. It reminded me why I went vegan to begin with!

It wouldn’t be a good post without a poem about said burger: I Ate Chicken, Ultimate Vegan Sinner

Not knowing how passion could exist without it
or how the eyelids could remain awake
the meaning of life slipped into a bun
I remember just how much it was 'yum-yum'
no pickled beetroot, no devastating soya
I just know, I was all out of juice


Get Beach Town: Hope on Kindle Unlimited for free and the eBook for free for a limited time! Grab a copy now to last a lifetime. Really appreciate the support and any and all reviews!

Have a read of my Wattpad erotic/love/romance story about one mans night of sexually charged drama and danger @ https://www.wattpad.com/story/307873965-discovery-avenue

Check out my new Elephant Journal post – https://www.elephantjournal.com/2022/04/does-life-mean-something/

I have just written something for Medium too – called ‘Making the most of Writing’ @ https://medium.com/@thomas_maxwellharrison/making-the-most-of-writing-5be702a5e4f9

You can also follow me on social media @Thomas87520559 ! I regularly post and interact with a massive writing community, and I support indie authors and self published authors!


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Sum <E|?

The sum of all of life

reduce your breakfast plate to an egg with some avocado

avoid walking in traffic at all costs

don't forget, that God is full of semen

and that a mighty sword is a jellyfish

of boiled lemon tek 

wait, did someone call my name?

Facing the harsh cold clouds of spring

there should be post at five in the afternoon

summing up 


https://www.wattpad.com/story/307873965-discovery-avenue – erotic/romance/love/danger/discovery short story released one part everyday.

https://www.elephantjournal.com/2022/04/does-life-mean-something – my new post on Elephant Journal!


New album by Joe Satriani – Elephants of Mars! Genius, brilliant! Review will come sometime soon my love.

Save Yourself – The Path To Forgiveness

Wizard wants to talk to you all about forgiveness. It is evident that through time and space that beings have had to forgive at some point in their lives. It is symbolic, it is truth, it is in all of us. Whatever you see forgiveness as, know that you are capable of it.

Before going any further, you may want to check out ‘emotions of colour‘ which touches on the connection between how colour affects us and how it can change us. It also touches on forgiveness. The poem Transcend is also good for looking at what forgiveness is.

Healing can be painful. It is a process and takes time which is what a lot of people don’t realise. You can’t expect to heal after a day of meditation, or after walking a hundred miles in the hope that you will suddenly rid yourself of any burdens such as guilt, shame or lingering anger at how you have been wronged. People who have been hurt, really hurt, which has caused them anxiety and depression, misery and other emotions, are the ones I am aiming this at. That is not to exclude those wronged in the supermarket checkouts, or those shouted at because they crossed the road at the wrong time. No, it is aimed to those who have deep emotional wounds which are likely to have cause them significant distress because if they can come to heal through time and to eventually forgive, then they will benefit the most, since it will be such a big part of development for them

Healing is the path to forgiveness. Without awareness of the issues you will find it hard to begin any journey to healing. Most people are aware of the issues which is great for starting to the path to forgive the wrongs they have suffered. Healing of the heart is where a lot of this will take place, since the heart is the center for love and for the connection to the universe. My post on healing the heart touches upon awareness. You have to be aware of the issues to change. Change will come from acceptance. Once you accept the issues and the pain you are in or was in, you will be on the path changing who you are.

To forgive takes more than to heal though, since we are talking about not only emotional healing, but mental, physical and spiritual healing. God knows what has happened to you. You were bestowed with free will when you were born, the will to change, the will to forgive. He sees everything, so no matter how alone you were or how alone you feel now, perhaps you are really struggling, know that He is there and waiting for you.

“I see everything they do. They cannot hide from me the things they do; their sin is not hidden from my eyes.”

Jeremiah 16:17-18

Rest assured that the above is as true as it gets. Although it can be frustrating and angering to accept that God sat by on the sidelines whilst you were seriously wronged, be assured, that you are independent and to interfere with humans in a supernatural way would impact free will. Those who wronged you have free will and He saw how they misused that to inflict suffering upon you and others.

Healing of the mind can be to work through ruminations. Ruminating is the act of focusing on something or to think deeply of something.

“Rumination is the focused attention on the symptoms of one’s distress, and on its possible causes and consequences, as opposed to its solutions”

Response styles theory – Nolen-Hoeksema

From the above, it is understandable to see how difficult is it to even start the road to recovery or healing when you may be ruminating about the distress you have suffered. That is not to say that thinking about the issues is bad. Thinking through the issues and incidents can help to bring you to the level of awareness and acceptance. Acceptance leads to change remember. But, you also have to work with your body and mind to heal. Maybe you could try meditation or exercise? Both are great at helping reduce feelings of depression and anxiety. You could change your diet perhaps? The point is change.

AWARENESS = ACCEPTANCE = CHANGE = HEALING = FORGIVENESS

Can you better see the path that is available to you? Imagine you are now at the change phase. You are changing those daily rituals or habits. You are adding in extra activities to heal the body and mind. You might be socialising more… or less. The paradox can be that you don’t have to do anything to change. What do I mean by that? I mean that if you lived a pretty busy life full of extra curricular activities, exercise and socialising then change for you might be more quiet time sat at home reading a book. Yes change occured but you didn’t focus on the developmental journey to heal, yet, you did. Can be confusing to understand. Know that change is brought about by you. I think a lot of people are expecting help from an external source. Granted the resources are there, but a lot of people aren’t getting the help they need which means they have to do it themselves. Having a supportive network will only benefit those who need it as part of their change and healing.

Over time and with dedication, you will change and you will start to feel that part of your life that you have been waiting for. Healing. Healing can occur earlier such as when changing. But, usually it occurs during and slightly after. After change is when your mind and body start to heal. Healing can be the most painful phase, because it is the phase of ‘letting go’ and being prepared to ‘forgive’ another. Forgiveness is not dependent on social norms, it is not dependent on others thoughts toward you. In fact, nobody needs to hear you forgive if you prefer to keep it to yourself. Just as prayer can be solitary, so too forgiveness.

I wrote about how healing can occur in the heart. The heart is where love is at. If your emotional experience has been hurt of the heart, or hurt through love, then this is where you feel that healing. Utilising the crystal stones as I mentioned, particularly rose, may assist this part. The healing process can be months, or years. Usually the change occurs over the same amount of time. Dependent on what the original wrongs against you were, it is not expected that you will bounce back immediately to the forgiveness stage. You will need to be ready for the moment, and need to do it with compassion and conviction. There is nothing worse than seeing someone go from awareness to healing to fail at forgiveness, because they didn’t believe it what they were doing. Have faith in yourself, take the time and don’t rush. You may be able to live a perfectly content life merely in the phases of healing and change, because in those phases you are focused on your inner light.

To forgive someone who has not repented can be extremely hard. I wrote about this and how there might not be any reason to forgive if there has been no repentance. I think I said something like ‘you cannot be expected to forgive someone who hasn’t repented.’ I also said that those people who are capable of this were incredible beings and I stand by that. The article below talks about the process of forgiving someone who isn’t sorry. The writer talks about how forgiveness can be done alone, how it might affect you and why you should forgive those who won’t repent. I use repent not because of its association with religion but its association with forgiveness

https://www.vox.com/22967752/how-to-forgive-someone-who-isnt-sorry-wont-apologize

You have come this far so thank you for reading. It wouldn’t be the end if I didn’t talk about the ‘what happens next’ part?

Once upon a time 
you were hurt 
you were scared
maybe you were just about ready to cry 
Now, a day more or a day less, you are here 
You see the world with beauty, not anger 
The sun and the skies, the rain coming from your eyes
I see the way and I want to embrace
change coming from the heart
like God, who brought me from the dark
to the light

If you reach the stage of forgiveness you have come far and you have done well. Goodness may seep from your heart and mind, your soul may be so strong that even the most evil of demons cower at your mere presence. Why? You have now saved yourself. You have taken the power of creation and existence and bestowed it upon yourself. You stepped to the side to let God have a say, and when you realised you had free will, you took a step back again, and decided that you had to make the choice, you had to change, you had to come to the point of forgiveness yourself. Despite what evil exists in the world, or what negativity tries to throw at you, or the lies and illusions of a world run by bad people, you did it.

Wizard doesn’t profess to be an expert on magic, but white magic is in abundance where forgiveness is present. To be good is to be white magic. You are making paths in space and time that cannot be undone. ‘For what is done cannot be undone.’ No matter how hard the journey or how isolating and confusing, you did it. You came through awareness to forgiveness and ultimately saved yourself. You have healed yourself. The emotional wounds which once had significance are evapourated. They no longer exist in you. You will focus on the adventures of the days to come, and of the love and beauty surrounding your heart. You will be closer to the connection of the universe than ever before. It is a wonderful experience. Light will radiate around you and no darkness shall befall you, for God will have seen your empathy and compassion and will command his angels regarding you.

Thank you for reading.

Blood on my feet

You spin and spin

the room is the lustful gain of sin

tilt your head and the lights go blind

move your body and you're inside my mind

chasing a ghost around an open floor

pushing your bare hips against that stone wall

slitting your throat at the ball

no more nice games

... and no more amour. 

Wide Eyes

Your wide eyes,
tearing me inside,
how I long to see the day when you smile,
how you can't wait to feel again,
smothered by black cloaked family,
kind of a cheap familiarity,
as I stare blankly at remnants of days gone by,
when you were consumed by the need to cry.

Wide eyes,
lacquered with fear,
out of tears,
left out in the rain,
drying as you step onto your mental plane. 

Inspiration

Follow your dreams and ambitions, don’t let anyone deter or hurt you. Never change to suit someone else’s agenda, be yourself, live and laugh. Explore topics of interest, get educated or start a career in a field you like. 

“Walk on the path that is empty and eventually, people will follow.”

It gets hard at times, harder so when you are pushed and beaten to the bottomless pit by greedy vipers intent on ruining the love and compassion that pours from your heart. It’s not enough to stand aside and let the darkness encapsulate the light or sit silent as the clouds block out your sunshine. It’s not enough to deter the evil whilst passively ignoring the cruelty that is so dominant in the world. It takes truth, courage, fearless warriors that are destined through their lives to lead and rise up and rebel. There is no violence to come, only peace. Peace can attain a thousand armies of justice, more so than the pitiful weapons of the scared. True love and insight is born from the seed planted since time immemorial. An angel guides you into the chambers, you seek your path and beat it until all those nay-sayers are begging for forgiveness. You walk confidently among the beautiful hearted, the caring and sweet tendered, musically lipped friends that you are safe with.

Fear no evil, see no evil, be no evil.